Dusting Aficionado Pillows

"I remember when you bought this thing. You said you were going to exercise all of the time. You never get on it."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Waiting for Pants

'Maybe he has some sort of mystic attachment to the soil.'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

But does he dust anything at our home? Noooo

"Sheez. I hope they like pictures of dirt."

"No, I don't look in the mirror. I look in the soap."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

'I never thought my dirt would turn on me like this.'

When placed in the hands of the right person on a long vacation, even egg salad could be a deadly weapon.

'Parents are so inconsistent. They spend all day avoiding soil loss and all night promoting it.'

'I thought this was supposed to be clean fill dirt!'

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."

"Hello job security."

"Pay attention, 'switch it off switch it on again' does not apply to the life support machines."

'We're very lucky, really, with our poltergeist.'

Decluttering. . .

"I don't get it. I only had a couple of beers in the pub last night, but I've got a splitting headache this morning."

"That loft has needed sorting out for years, at least you've had time to do the job properly!!"

"I'm very proud. Someone I've been stalking has been nominated for an Academy Award."

I have a date tonight. She's coming over. I need to get home and clean it all up. Not so fast, little buddy. Cleaning is a delicate art. Clean too little, and she thinks you're a slob. Clean too much, and she thinks you're hiding something. It's almost as if you haven't read chapter 7 of the manual. What manual? "Mancleaning: By Randy 'The Rock' Taylor." You wrote a whole book about cleaning? It's the follow-up to "How to Reach the Tenth Level of Passion by Feng Shui-ing Your Dust Bunnies." It's

New more powerful, furniture polish.

Sailors Scrubbing the Decks

A better way to sweep the floor.... just shuffle!

'May I tidy up the infield?'

"Ok, you wash, you dry...."

'Being married is a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free!'

'Eww! Gross! You smell really good. Have you been in the rose garden again?'

"So using all those brown coffee filters literally bought me nothing?"

'Spider-Man does too take baths!'

"Now, that's what I call a skyscraper!"

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

Vacuum Cleaner Plugged Into Pig's Nose.