Dugout Dynamo Pillows

'Sorry, coach, but all of the bases are loaded.'

Jack of all trades

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"Lovely dovetail."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

A holiday at home

To determine which department would be awarded the Billings contract, employees agreed to play a best-of-five dodgeball tournament.

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Crop duster wanted.

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Thor's Other Tools

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

Handy-lion

Origami time!

Shop Lifting

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Reality home-improvement show.

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

TWIN-KILLING CHOREOGRAPHY

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di