Dugout Dynamo Pillows

'Sorry, coach, but all of the bases are loaded.'

Jack of all trades

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'I'm in my Blue period.'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"I hoped you'd change your hobby when you became a father"

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

"Lovely dovetail."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

A holiday at home

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Crop duster wanted.

'Where do you keep the elbow grease?'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Cut out and keep your own D.I.Y expert.

Thor's Other Tools

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

Shop Lifting

Origami time!

Handy-lion

'I told you she could get them all in under a minute. Now pay up.'

Reality home-improvement show.

TWIN-KILLING CHOREOGRAPHY

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"Gracie, it's Baldo's birthday next week... In case you want to make him something."

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

"We'll take it from here Gramps." "Yeah, you guys are just so antiquated." "Power 'Tools'"

Exhausted mother holds up 'Off Duty' sign.