Duel Aficionado Gifts

"Beverly, brief me on my eleven-fifteen duel."

The baron sneered at the choice of weapon. But, little did he know that Sir Guy was deadly with a soup ladle.

"Call me?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"We're never going to resolve this if you won't get your own sword."

'Come on, I dare you: I say you can't drink a whole dew drop...'

Sitting in a tree

Valentine Day

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

"Skate or die."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

Love Birds love just being together

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

'...And now, stay tuned for 'America's Funniest Presidential Debates'!'

Brexit negotiations had reached a critical stage.

Banana Smoothie

You just keep giving.

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

Poetry debate

'We've proven without a doubt, that this particle has a negative charge. Unfortunately, an accelerator in Switzerland has proven, without a doubt, that it has a positive charge.'

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

Be objective - never take your own side in an argument.

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

Cherchez la femme

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

Professor Dubreuil is blow away by the dynamic vitality of Dean Richmond's rhetoric.

'Hardly any religion gets into chemistry, quite a bit gets into biology, and we're up to our necks in it.'