Duct Tape Devotee Gifts

Great moments in duct tape history: Kittyhawk, 1903

'Duct tape.'

"How many times are you going to try to fix that charger cable with duct tape? It's time to just buy a new one."

21st century water cooler conversations.

Sweep the board.

'Is this the new input device?'

'well, Fred, I see you're finally embracing technology.'

"I know it is of this earth...."

Fur Baby

European Union Health and Safety Direcorate rules

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."

"I'm asking you to write your name on the board. Surely you don't need your smart phone to help you spell your name!"

"What is a drag queen's goal?"

The origin of storms. (Gods playing 'darts' in a pub with lighting bolts and globe).

"Staff are always complaining about supposed bureaucracy, but if no one completed form M74/cd3 then how would we know how many M74/cd3’s had been filled out!"

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

"Duct tape fixes leaks in the office, too."

"I'm sure you may need your phone, portable charger, laptop, iPad, Xbox, and music player. But we're only going to the mailbox."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

"There's nothing like a dame!"

User friendly soil.

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

In an alternate universe, characters from the rough draft and finished manuscript of the same novel meet themselves at a cocktail party.

50% looking at phone, 50% looking for phone

A day at the UN.

Leading Economic Indicator.

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

"Jenkins, rumor has it there are people outside this meeting who are doing actual work. Go find out."

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

'Yes, that's all - isn't 1500 calories enough?'

"I would also like to thank the jury for validating my work."

Council tax inspector notes dog kennel: 'Clearly, this property has its own entrance.'