Duck Hunter Humorist Pillows

'Well, I'll bet no one else thinks it's funny.'

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'The circle is complete!'

Rejected Titles For The Canadian National Anthem.

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Part Thirty Four

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

No Soliciting

"Let's just go in and see what happens."

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

"Call security, Miss Rightman. I have an overwhelming urge to throw good money after bad"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

Spot Quiz....

"Pssst. Fake poop."

"Now turn your head and bark."

Inflatable Duck Boat

'Yes, the treestand's maximum weight capacity is 300 pounds, you weigh 301 pounds.'

Burnout Syndrome...

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

"Nasty sunburn."

Book: 'From prey to predator in 30 days.'

Guide fish.

"By God, Man! Yes!! This is the stuff we're looking for!"

Soccer coach of the year.