Duck Callers Gifts

If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

If that call's for me, I'm not here.

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

Drama Llama

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

Dive bombing hunters with eggs.

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

Duck painting picture of man painting picture of a duck.

'Yes, I know you're not a vet. But as you're a quack, I thought yo might be able to help.'

'How was my date?...It went OK. He paid for dinner, and he floats. I suppose that has to count for something.'

Blue Upright

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

Bingo Addicts...

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

'Looks like you're having a pretty good season, eh Ben?'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

A duck in a bathtub

Revenge of the Mallards.

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

"I hate having my calls monitored."

Ducks swimming with the one behind paddling hard to catch up.

"Be wary of humans kids! They either throw you bread or try to shoot you..."

The duck stops here.

"Think about it, you already look like a duck: If I can teach you to quack like a duck, we'll be able to carry out serious pranks!"