Duck Callers Gifts

If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

'He's a retired Drill-Sergeant!'

Drama Llama

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

'That's a quack-quack'. Ornithological conference.

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

Dive bombing hunters with eggs.

'Okay, I'll stand on the mantle, but she's never going to believe you bagged a duck.'

'Oh great, we teach him to fly and now he tries to show us up!'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

Duck painting picture of man painting picture of a duck.

'How was my date?...It went OK. He paid for dinner, and he floats. I suppose that has to count for something.'

Blue Upright

'Yes, I know you're not a vet. But as you're a quack, I thought yo might be able to help.'

"There's no such thing as 'just' ducky."

'OK, now I'm freaked out. How'd he get my cell phone number?'

'Looks like you're having a pretty good season, eh Ben?'

"It's that time of year when guys randomly explode."

A duck in a bathtub

Revenge of the Mallards.

'Why yes, I would like to buy double glazing...'

"I hate having my calls monitored."

Ducks swimming with the one behind paddling hard to catch up.

The duck stops here.

"Be wary of humans kids! They either throw you bread or try to shoot you..."

"Think about it, you already look like a duck: If I can teach you to quack like a duck, we'll be able to carry out serious pranks!"

'To be honest I'm getting really fed up with this weather.'