Duck Appreciation Society T-Shirts

"And with the amazing scores of 99.95, may I present Roger and Milly Mallard!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

A baby duck in a tiny car seat on the mother duck's back.

'Goodness, no Doctor, my husband is not calling you any insulting names. He's a duck and that's the only word he knows.'

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Novel

Theatre Masks and Butts

"Bad dog."

Duck Hunt

How about going easy on the carbs

'I admire your floatibility.'

"They're so like us."

"Sir, your ducks, they are not in a row."

"Throw, fetch, throw, fetch, throw, fetch. It all seems so obsessive-compulsive."

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

Dog wears t-shirt: 'The Duck Stops Here'

'They're still following me?! Oh geez, what if they're in some sort of gang or something?'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack's Poetic Justice

Mother Duck.

"We need to create more hashtag-worthy moments."

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

'I don't trust humans: Some times, they throw us bread, some other times, they shoot at us!'

Business Duck

Mistaken baby ducks.

What the woman who spent years frantically trying to get her ducks in a row eventually learned.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Save your money - he's a quack.'

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Got him up at the stadium, Chief. It was Yankee Duck Day."

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

'Well, he sure as hell doesn't walk like a C.E.O.'

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack Writes A Top Ten Hit