Duality Juggler Pillows

"I'm a superhero for the benefit of mankind. It's my day job in a call centre that pays the bills."

Football

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

A woman watches football on her computer.

'I love these afternoon jam sessions.'

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"Balanced Diet"

Education Guidance

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

'Your mother and I are worried that all these video games may be having an effect on you.'

A Man mixing up his sports.

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"That's his idea of multi-tasking."

The Multi-tasking Snake Charmer

"Bad case of 'Swivel Neck' comes from trying to watch too many games at the same time!"

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

Unicyclist painting a ceiling,

Jeff goes through a breakup with a multiple personality patient.

ESSENTIALS for those who are OVER 50 AND OUT OF WORK

'I like you, you've got balls.'

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

'Attack!'

"And I thought changing the twins was going to be difficult!"

Home/work masks.

"Our smart home is blowing up my text. The oven is mad at the dishwasher. The dishwasher is mad at the lights. The lights are mad at the TV. And I thought out kids fought a lot."

'But my friends call me Lefty.'

Chiropractor

"Okay, feet, let's show hands you're just as good as they are."

'Can't talk now! I'll call you back.'

I may not have made any sales this quarter but I also haven't prevented and sales.

"I've diversified so much lately I don't know what I'm in."