Dual Persona Ponderer Pillows

A small number of people are afraid of heights, but there is an epidemic fear of widths.

"Needs to get a life"

'Doctor, I don't want to eat mouseburgers, I want to be normal like everybody else.'

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

'At least I don't have his life.'

"I advised a patient to take responsibilty for his own actions, and now he is suing me!"

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

The Male Atom: Sex, Sport, War and Good Intentions.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

Max Weber

'I ask myself-do I really want to sleep on the edge of the bed again?'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Telling Self to Buzz Off

Psychiatry ward with 'Inhibited' and 'Outgoing' trays.

'What did He do before he was God?'

"I don't know why I'm here - I don't need a haircut."

'Well, that brings us up to my third birthday...'

Jesus wept

Caption Contest TK

That's no big deal, a lot of people get Siskel and Ebert mixed up

"But is it..?"

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

'It's not just his insane jealousy - he also insists on choosing all my clothes.'

"I utilize the best from Freud, the best from Jung and the best from my uncle Marty, a very smart fellow."

'I'm too small for my age: I keep being rejected...'

"If I can control everyone around me it would help my damaged self esteem."