Dry Wit Appreciator Pillows

Late Night with Patrick O'Brian

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

"Stop the drama. Take that wig off and wait 'till spring like everyone else."

Cat Burglar

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

'Don't fall for all that...you should see him first thing in the morning.'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'

"Tell me more about your fear of going bald."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

Clancy Strip: Money and Beer

Voltaire

Lot for people who don't know how to park.

Platitudes for the hopelessly realistic. When life gives you lemons, get a gift receipt.

"I don't think you have a case. It's only slander if it's not true, and I've heard you play."

'How can you stand to listen to dozens of crazy people and stay sane?' - 'Who listens?.'

I was thinking about something more like a slogan.

"Well. . . the cost of living was getting too high, so. . ."

The People versus McGinley gets acrimonious.

Pick your own fruit or worms.

"Getting a little thin on top and dull below, eh Pop?"

Dorothy Parker at the Algonquin Round Table

"No one is denying that you're smart. For that to happen someone would have to say you're smart."

"Uh. . . Ooh. . . Here come the know it alls again!"

Figure of Eight

'It's a good job I was trapped by my wooden leg and not my good one, son!'

Circus. I'm giving up the seltzer bottle as a comedy prop and will do a more sophisticated act. Ah, dry humor.

This beer has given me the courage to invite you back to my place. This wine has given me the courage to invite you to drop dead.

'Wow! This style of writing went out back in the seventies!'

Inn and Outt.

Bit on the Side

'How's my appeal going?', 'How's your tunnel going?'

Black Death

"I've been in the desert for a really long time and I've got a bad case of dry eyes. Do you have any eye drops?"