Dry Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Canoeing on a Dried River Bed

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"You're doing that thing again where you're my husband and you're next to me in bed."

Man crawling through desert avoids a 'Water and Free Comedy Show'.

I think I'm over my cold. Gee, that's too bad

'My personalities are threatening to split.'

Garden Centre/Water Shortage

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

'... And this is my cellar.'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

Dead Funny

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Hey, remember a few days ago, when all this was unacceptable?"

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'