Dry Humor Gifts

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

'... And this is my cellar.'

Out To Lurch

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Another day at work would be one too many...

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

The practical psychopath

"This hotel room must be dry. There's a cactus growing out of my suitcase."

Zombies.

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"Housekeeping?!"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

"The Eggsorcist"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

End the Winter Blues

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

Optimist

"Look, I'm dying. Gotta go."

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

Trump

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'What's the matter... you're not grim here?'