Druid Gifts

Lady with a sythe

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Your resume looks good. Let me hear some of your incantations.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

Dog Walker

"Okay brother Bickle, you can keep your underpants on"

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

"Wait. Let me have one more try."

Wiccapedia.

Hmmm, not sure about these new-fangled clocks...

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'Hmm, wrong bottle. I guess THIS one must've been the Elixir of Death...'

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

"I think it would look better over there!"

"You didn't need to dress up, Albert - it's just soup."

"I need to update my cloak of invincibility."

The Wizard's Space Programme.

EXPELLI-ANUS!