Drug Store Enthusiasts Pillows

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

Customer Convention

"We're on our way to the mall to do some off-line shopping."

"What SPF sunscreen do you suggest for lying around in a sunny spot?"

"I understand they've uncovered some weird new side effects since you were here last."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

"Hibernation - here I come..!"

Side Effects

Placebonex: 'Make sure to take it every day, otherwise the effect wears off.'

'St John's wort ambulance' - hippy ambulance.

'These smart pills are overpriced!"

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

'Have you got anything for late onset whimsy?'

'Success! We created a drug that is effective, quick-acting, and expensive.'

"I might suggest Ritalin."

The over-the-counter versions

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

"She used to shop until she dropped, but with online shopping, we lost that protection."

"Attention, shoppers. We have a lost boomer at the information desk."

'It was more of a 'triple blind' test. The patients didn't know which ones were getting the real drug, the doctors didn't know, and, I'm afraid nobody knew.'

"This drug has such pleasant side effects I consider them value-added."

"I'm in a purchasing mood, but I don't know if I feel like goods or services."

Pain relievers and pain inducers.

"Whore of Babylon?"

'I don't care if you got it at the dollar store...GET THAT BIB OFF OF MY SON!!!'

"By the authority vested in me by Bloomingdale's, how may I help you?"

"They're not the tastiest, so try hiding them in a piece of cheese before you take them."

'This one controls postoperative pain and this one controls the pain you feel when I tell you how much it costs.'

Pharmacy: 'It's a miracle drug because it hasn't been taken off the market yet.'

Business is slow, thank goodness.

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

R Prescriptions

"This new pharmacist gives me the willies." "Surprise! Make America Great Again!"