Drug Representative Gifts

R and D for a Pharmaceutical company

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"I actually saw ten gay characters on television this week—which almost balanced out the 2,174 straight characters I saw."

A man with Dwarfism is reading Little Women.

'Those are all highway miles. The previous owner was a pharmaceutical sales rep.'

"And, if elected, I promise to put more black people in cartoons."

"...but do not take Clynkovix if you are already taking any other drug with a ridiculous name."

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

"Am I passionate about fashion? Yep, I guess you could say I'm fashionate."

'Therapy in L.A.'

These Sales Reps get more aggressive every year.

'In a bizarre set of circumstances, the book salesman never showed up, but a drug rep is here with samples of Prozac.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Gracie, if we want to see more Latinos in film, we need to support Latino films. When a movie comes out with Latino stars and Latino story, we need to go see it."

"Smart stuff, Chip, but wise up and dumb it down."

"That's too big a pill for me to swallow, Harold!"

How To Spot A Politician

'Your prescription is ready. How would you like to finance it?'

"We at MEGAPHARMA are 100% behind the benefits of 'talking therapies' which is why we've developed MEGAZYMOLIN to enhance the experience..."

'Here are our hot new drugs for fall.'

"I see you were a congressional intern, so you're good working with children."

'Someone's here who'd like you to spend 30 days on an island with 1,000 doctors and some pain pills.'

"I have exclusive rights with Pfizer."

'Our news documentary, 'More depressing government shenanigans,' is sponsored by prozac.'

"Wow, we're doing great."

"Responsibility? Me? Don't be silly. I'm a politician!"

'How do I get to the House of Representatives?' 'Just follow the straight and narrow till election day, and then veer sharply left.'

Congressional Gym. I never need to go in there. I get plenty of exercise kicking the can down the road.

"Mr. Speaker, I would like to request an additional thirty seconds to approach my esteemed colleague from across the aisle and punch him the face."

John Lewis

'And a very merry Christmas to you...'