Drug Detectives T-Shirts

Drug Side-Effects Research Division

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

'Um, can I get a FOURTH opinion?'

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

Customer Convention

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

'Now here's my idea...we come up with a really high-priced drug to treat drug side effects...'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

'I have no idea what's wrong with you. I just collect information. My computer makes the decisions.'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

"Which will it be - do we label it '20% free', and raise the price 20%, or label lit '40% free', and raise the price 40%?"

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

John Snow

Excessive Paperwork

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

'I diagnosed you with THAT? Whoa! You patients really need to be more involved with your healthcare!'

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

'You're free to get a second opinion, but it looks like something's wrong with that green thingie by your liver.'

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

"We need to talk about procrastination."

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

I don't know what it is, but it's a textbook case of something.

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'