Driving Perfectionist Gifts

Some cars need a backseat steering wheel.

"The diagnostics all say the car's fine but your driving needs major adjustments."

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"I think you might need to start again."

"We find it as long as you manage the inputs, the outputs will look after themselves."

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

'The project is a little behind schedule. It was proactive, now it's retroactive.'

'Then it's settled. We'll make 7 million with blue handles, 5 million with red handles, 4 million with purple handles and 2 million with green handles.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

'We're almost 1/8th of the way there.'

Nice park. . .

Perfection

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

"I'm afriad we had to cancel the 'perfect planning ' seminar. We forgot to book the hotel until it was to late and the speaker we hoped to use died in 1958."

'Daft title. How could you have 'backward' planning?'

'Regarding our deadline - have we moved to long-range planning or still stuck in short-term excuses?'

Santa's Out Tray.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'You should have ordered one. This is the only one left in the shop!'

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"You're welcome."

Writer's Block Next 10 Miles

When pedants take a break.

'I like the plot, but are all those nude scenes really necessary?'

Desk trays - 'Do it' and 'Do it right this time'.

"Page 33, line 4..."

"After thoroughly researching all the details, I think we can now safely throw caution to the wind..."