Drive-time Philosopher T-Shirts

Bob continued to yell at other drivers long after he arrived home.

"Trust me kiddo, even donkey's years fly by way too fast..."

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

'It's ten o'clock. Do you know what your office staff are doing?'

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Snail Coach

'Since you only work one night a year, it will take centuries to build up your retirement account.'

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

Children's games and technology

'Actually I only do this on weekends.'

"Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock, tick tock."

Childhood Screen Addict

"Road construction used to bother me. But compared to all the craziness going on in the world, I'll take this any day."

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

"You seem very remote."

Traffic Lights Medicine

"Sometimes I wish they'd never perfected setless television."

Your own tedious thoughts next 200 miles

'Existential truckstop'

"All the poetry I have inside me is being eaten by my vampire phone."

"I would have been driven out of my mind if the lanes hadn't been closed."

Road Guilt

"If I ever feel that life's moving too fast, I just stand in the prescriptions queue..."

"A thirst for knowledge, …. That was another of my great thirsts."

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

Road signs point to various things to buy including "women's wear", "office supplies" and "household appliances".

"If space-time has four dimensions, we can deduce that screen time is the grand unifying theory of everything."

"I took your advice and went on a strict month-long diet, but I only lost 30 days."

First Church: Today's Sermon - Sinners Looking At Their Smartphones Instead of Listening To The Sermon Will Go Straight To Hell.

Encouragement from Crashed Driver

'All I hope for is that the weekdays don't ruin my weekend.'

'Half past zen.'

"Mom wasn't impressed with my suggestion that we 'agree to disagree'."