Drip Devotee Pillows

Pour Over Coffee

I love my Timpani

Happy Hour

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Hey, I just consider myself very fortunate to be getting paid for something I'd be doing anyway."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

"What is a drag queen's goal?"

Bubble Gum Dispenser

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

Band alternating between whiney and angry songs.

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"Singing makes me self-conscious."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."

"There's nothing like a dame!"

In an alternate universe, characters from the rough draft and finished manuscript of the same novel meet themselves at a cocktail party.

Highland Pipe Band Drum Major

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

Pipe Down

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

'Single or double?'

Tribal man drumming a message read by an Englishman"...and finally, Middlesex are 120 for 3..."

'...and the Brewery are considering giving you a loyaly card!'

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"