Dips Devotee Pillows

Unusual Dip Warning

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

'You'll be very happy here...I know I am!'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

'Shakin' bacon.'

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

A criminal dances for a police officer in an attempt to delay being put into jail.

"That wasn't very funny!"

'...And the hotel was an absolute dump!'

"Please tell me you recently lowered the floor."

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'

4 Reasons for Procrastination

"Anyone can hate, Mr. Brookings, but can your gare fill a book?"

'Uh-oh.'

'I've given up red meat, sugar and booze; stock swaps and derivatives are all I have left!'

Swan Diving