Dips Devotee Pillows

Unusual Dip Warning

'I wonder why scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats.'

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

"I was a gainfully employed copy editor. Suddenly, one day, I couldn't tell an em dash from an en dash."

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

Chuck didn't care what his therapist said; that is not where he left his dummy.

'You'll be very happy here...I know I am!'

"Alarmingly, after five minutes the pool had come no closer."

"Man does not live by chips alone. There's also guacamole."

Two men in T-shirts, one shirt says Jesus loves me, the other Jesus loves me more.

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

"Hold up ... where’s the ranch dressing?"

Parrot looking in mirror has feather headdress options.

Weinberg's egregious error would damage his reputation forever, His colleagues would thereafter refer to him as 'the big double dipper,

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Gym. He claims he does that routine for an hour before starting his cardio workout. Do you believe him? It's a bit of a stretch!

"Oh, Freddy! I just knew it would be like this!"

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

'Shakin' bacon.'

'...And the hotel was an absolute dump!'

A criminal dances for a police officer in an attempt to delay being put into jail.

Throw-Your-Voice Mail.

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

"That wasn't very funny!"

"Please tell me you recently lowered the floor."

'We're trying a more holistic approach to our surgeries.'

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

4 Reasons for Procrastination

'Italian, Russian or Ranch?'

"Anyone can hate, Mr. Brookings, but can your gare fill a book?"

'Uh-oh.'

'I've given up red meat, sugar and booze; stock swaps and derivatives are all I have left!'