Drinks Troublemaker Gifts

'Do you ever worry about getting the D.T.'s?'

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

Happy Hour

"An everything Martini, please."

"Drunk, yet orderly"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single malt."

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

'The first cocktail.'

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

Later that day, little Johnny got in big trouble for playing with them.

'Single or double?'

"I was deadwood but I'm out of a job. I guess I'm driftwood."

'Don't drink on an empty head.'

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

From The Museum Of Modern Art's Collection Of American Mixology......The Mies Martini

"A knowledgeable choice...A sophisticated blend of fine liqueurs..." "Girly drink."

'I should warn you - all our 'non-loaded' funds are alcohol free.'

'I'm having what he's having.'

"India ink, straight."

"And a bag of peanuts."

Christmas drinker

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

Beefeater cocktail

'I drink so much alcohol I'm afraid to smoke!'

OUT of ORDER

'Hey, everybody. Dr. Jekyll here has concocted a new mix for us.'

Al's Bar, All You Can Drink $375.

"Bad day?"