Drink Order Challenger T-Shirts

"Here's an idea son, stop trying to order our drinks by text and get yourself up to the bar!"

'With 73 dog obedience books read between us, I think we must consider defeat.'

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

Happy Hour

Balancing two espresso martinis

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Complaints Desk

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

California Beverages Map

'I feel cosmopolitan tonight, Joe - Give me a scotch with an irish Chaser.'

"It feels like me against the world but it's actually just the state of Connecticut."

Big Moon Brewery and Alphonso's martinium

"Your mom wants to buy you a drink."

"And while you're waiting for your drinks can I get you something from the bar?"

Dutch Courage

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

'This horchata de chufas, it's very moreish you know.'

"Forget the Gin Sling, I'll have a whisky and soda."

"Check it out, guys. Finally got my wine legs!"

'Single or double?'

'All drinks are double the normal price - it makes me happy.'

No, I'm not a gambler at all. I just blow on these and they keep serving me drinks.

'Did you ever realize that we're really drinking coffee out of large sippy cups?'

"I hear alcohol slows reactions..."

"India ink, straight."

"When he needs to, Ed can really multitask!"

'He's not afraid of hard work-look at the way he fights it!'

"When you've seen one bottle of stout you've seen the lot."

'Do you have any coffee?'

"And a bag of peanuts."

'Phone Services - Desperate Selling to Small Businesses'

Beefeater cocktail