Drink Critique Pillows

'I've been to the bar next door, and I'm here for a second opinion.'

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

Another reason farm raised fish aren't as healthy as wild ones.

All-You-Should-Eat Buffet

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

"...an excellent fighting lager with just a hint of park bench."

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

An art director eats: 'Waiter! Does this lettuce say 'salad' to you?'

'The Entrecote a la Bordelaise? It's stuff on a plate.'

"Practicing my hate-face."

The New Square Mile Regulator.

"Tap anywhere to begin."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'I wish you'd make those meatballs a little lighter; they hurt!'

'This decaf's lousy.'

"Would you prefer sparkling water, filtered water, tap water or water?"

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

Honest Vending Machine

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

"I'd recommend this."

"Relax sir, I'm sure chef barely remembers you posting a negative review online."

'I've got a really important meeting today, so give me something that will get me so drunk no one will want to mess with me.'

"Potatoes too salty? Look, buster ??" I told you to enjoy your meal!"