Drill Dodger Gifts

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

'Doesn't look good...My ear plugs nurse.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Nun Binning the Devil

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

The Demon's Disguise

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

Drones Unlimited

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

"Accursed global warming!"

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

Winter depression.

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

"He's never hit an underground line in twenty years. He can wear anything he wants."

"I thought all the bills we were going to ignore were coming electronically."

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'

"Bad news...you don't have a deadly disease. You've got to go back to work."

'Great news! Your father's got a job.'

"Severe lactose intolerance - he can't even look at a cow."