Drill Dodger Gifts

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

'Doesn't look good...My ear plugs nurse.'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Nun Binning the Devil

Ready for the curves life throws at you.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

The Demon's Disguise

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

"Are you listening to me?"

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"If you'd bullshitted your work like the rest of us, you'd be home by now."

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

Drones Unlimited

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

"Do you have a moment to be late for something you just made up?"

A $50 co-pay? Well, go find someone named 'Co' and maybe they can pay you."

"Accursed global warming!"

'Now I know why they call you Cinderella... You're always running away from the ball.'

"You recused yourself from this case. I recuse myself from jury duty."

'I think I'm going to have to hide the bathroom scale from your mother.'

"Move over! - I just got the bill!"

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

Winter depression.

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

"He's never hit an underground line in twenty years. He can wear anything he wants."

"I thought all the bills we were going to ignore were coming electronically."

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'

'Quick Stephen Fry's not on.'