Dressing Sharp Pillows

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

"How soon will this be a remnant

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Does this suit make me look too eager?'

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"I'm sick and tired of black."

The Surly Yoof

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

Lovers in ruffled dresses

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

Unsuitable clothing.

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

'Take ten years off the top.'

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?'

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'Like most fund managers, I consistently under-perform the market--but I do it with real flair.'

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'

"No, you can't go out like that. Just because the world is ending is no reason to dress like a heathen."

Lady in a blue and white dress