Dressing Sharp T-Shirts

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"I like you in that one—it gives you an aura of mindfulness."

"How soon will this be a remnant

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

'It's good of you to go out of your way to show me what not to do, Mum.'

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

Ladies Fashions - "Money isn't tight - you are!"

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

'Does this suit make me look too eager?'

"I'm thinking of changing my parting."

Lovers in ruffled dresses

The Surly Yoof

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

'Don't just stand there doing nothing! Sell yourself a suit!'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Let's see a robot do that."

Cut out and keep your own Wardrobe Assistant.

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

Unsuitable clothing.

"Madeleine Albright kicked butt in that suit."

'How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?'

'Take ten years off the top.'

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'You have to look sharp. You'll be evaluated by the lawyers in this case!'

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

'I warned you! You mix a power suit coat and pants and you short circuit the vest!'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'Like most fund managers, I consistently under-perform the market--but I do it with real flair.'

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'