Dress Sense T-Shirts

'Haven't you ever seen a starched necktie?'

The way she dresses...she looks so cheap and tarty! Yeah, great, isn't it?

"Do I look ridiculous in these clothes?"

Dog Dressed to Eat

'This is too small. Get me a 12...How many times?! I'm a 10 or a 12 on top and a 12 or 14 on the bottom depending on the shop, the cut of the fabric, the ambient air temperature, and the rotation of Pluto...and we always try the 10 first capiche?'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"Aren't we going a little overboard with Friday's casual dress code!?"

Support Group for high heels abandoned during the pandemic

"This IS my day-to-night outfit"

"I don't care what it was or how hard it was to kill. It makes me look fat."

"Working from home is a great idea, Dad. We'd just like to establish some kind of dress code."

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

'Does this suit make me look too eager?'

'And I see that Derek continues to ignore our company's dress code...'

"I want it to look good, but not ill-gotten-gains good."

"I'm sick and tired of black."

"Nobody told me it was formal."

Unsuitable clothing.

'We want to adopt a kid. Do you have a choice our feng shui consultant can look at?'

Corporate Image

"In this corporation, Mr. Taylor, at this level we do not do shirtsleeves."

'How come they're making size 16 smaller these days?'

"You know what they say, spend for the job that you want."

"This is our new one-piece for the more mature ladies."

'Take ten years off the top.'

'I can just make it out. She's saying 'call my hairdresser'.'

Designer labels "I'm sorry, but I think I've forgotten your name."

'I'm on my way to court. What tie goes well with a guilty plea?'

'I got mine at a garage sale for only 99 cents.'

Every company needs the aesthetic sense of female colleagues.

'What do you call a blonde doing hand stands? A brunette.'

Do you have a larger suit in the same size?

"Have you ever wondered what I'd look like in skinny jeans?"

'Maybe a tad too much eye makeup.'