Dreidel Spinner Gifts

Hanukkah dreidel

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Fish talking about fisherman

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

Grimm's Fairytales - Title Page

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

A boy and his spin patrol.

fairy tales

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'R.I.P. Van Winkle, just sleeping.'

"Always exaggerate. It makes life seem more interesting."

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

'Because he was the one who had to milk her. That's why Jack traded the cow for a handful of beans.'

'Who needs a measuring tape when you've got an imagination?'

I guess Grandpa was once a wise king, too. He always says he does his best thinking on the throne.

'That is one nasty whiplash!'

'The tales I could tell, sonny... I've marked my way across 7 continents, from the Kelly green hydrants of Belfast to the salty yellow curbs of old Shanghai...'

I was able to get you a 2-book deal.

Looks like you put too much dosie in that doe, Earl.

Writers Block: "Day 24 and still no typewriter!"

Dali Paints His Dreams

Every App tells a story.

Fish-losophy

Pandora's cat.

'Your book is quite dull, so we're marketing it as a bedtime story.'

'He may not be a great angler but you have to admire his honesty.'

Engraving on tomb of the unknown writer - The END.

'Ollie, it's me! Some rich guy repeated one of my cockamamy tales and I sued him for intellectual property theft.'

" - This might work, but management will never approve it . . ."

"Wait, those weren't lies. That was spin!"

Dreidel Breakdance

Bowling alley

Someday, I'll have your great grandad tell you his pheasant hunting stories.

'You look like a lady with a story to tell.'