Draught Drinker Pillows

"Darling! We've become armchair socialites."

'You wanna play another round?' 'Sure....tender, another round!'

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Happy Hour

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

Sweep the board.

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

7 Dwarves of Retirement

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

"Another flue shot, Larry.

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'I'm having trouble with my drinking. Arthritis in my elbow.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The King of what?'

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

Whiskey wars

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

Things to do while you're stuck at home during the coronavirus crisis.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

Rabbit Punch

'As soon as I mention Nietzsche - stop serving me, okay.'

My first mistake.

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"There! Now let's hear no more noise about wanting a glass of water!"

"Just for once, why don't we forget the poor and blow the lot down the local tavern?"

"Sad but true - my career ladder turned out to be a career footstool."

Sharing Drinks.