Double Shift Survivor Gifts

"I'll be a little late. I'm working a double shift."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Working hours.

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Since you somehow managed to get past my moat, I'll give you a few minutes."

'On your marks. Get set. Go!' - 'Come on! Keep going! You can do it!' - 'Yay! You're 8 hours closer to the grave!' - 'Oh, God.'

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

Spam in inbox.

Information. Innuendo

"Take my hand, my love, and come with me to the cabin, where we can explore each other's naked bodies for ticks."

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

'Where should I leave this?'

'I was a junior doctor when I started this shift.'

"He told me I was a flip phone expected to do a smart phone job."

"My new day job is killing me."

"Help, I'm being micro managed."

Today's Rapunzel

'I'm telling you, this is a tough place to work. Pass the pepper spray.'

"I consider your opinion most valuable when you don't express it."

"The weight of all the paperwork made my desk fall through the floor. This might be a sign that I need to go paperless."

'That's great, Bob, but I was just going to ask if you wanted anything from the deli next door.'

"I could really get ahead at my two jobs if it weren't for that five letter vice I crave...SLEEP."

Umpires filing trays marked 'safe' and 'out'.

Job Bored

"Have you considered working the lunch shift?"

"Your's is a thankless job so you can't be expected to be compensated."

'If this is really Heaven, why do you have a desk job?'

'We gave your chair to another employee, Larson, because you spent so little time in it.'

"Miss Caldwell, write twenty letters, make five Xerox copies of each, feed the whole lot into the shredder, and then, if it's five o'clock, you may go home."

I'm absolutely worn out. I've been unloading pig-iron all day.

'How do you know I'm not working?'

"...He's been going to work in a wheelie bin. He says its quicker, cleaner and less cramped"

When paperwork attacks.

"And by 'priority', I mean close the Solitaire game immediately."