Dotting Mum Pillows

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

"Those are the names of your children? I went a different route...I memorized my kids' names."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

"Just kick back and enjoy this. These are the nest years of our lives!"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

Suffering from Cooties?

Lamb Noise.

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

'Don't be alarmed if you hear the toilet flush a lot. Since you don't feel well, I thought I'd wash the dishes for you.'

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

"Now I think of Mom whenever it's cold."

"Listen. Nobody's cuter than anyone else! You're all equally cute!"

'The girls must be feeling better...'

"Sorry Tina, I won't be able to come over: Joey is finally asleep and I don't dare move..."

"It's called geometry, Mum."

Kangaroo - Mum dropping her ice-cream on Joey's head.

'It's no problem, Mom. Samantha just likes to check on my table manners.'

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

"The good news is...you've one less window to wash."

"Then what happened?"

'He's going to be an estate agent, just like his Dad.'

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

"I hate you! You don't understand me and you don't understand my software!"

'We're playing trampoline, mom.'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

'We've only got a couple of days to finish this box of cereal. Mom'll never let us eat something called energy-packed after school's out.'

"I'm so good at this!"

'If mum's not around, amber means...pedal to the metal, baby!'

Why moms make bad refs.

"Oh, she talk a lot...but only about her children."

'It's the same model... he painted the second one eight months after the first painting.'

"Today in school we learned how to glue!"