Dorm Room Renegade Pillows

Fridge Pirate

Hiding the electronics.

A holiday at home

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

Organized chaos.

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

The Bland Leading the Bland

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. VI

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

Female Dominance.

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

How did people work before computers? They grew food, made clothing and built stuff. Now all that is done outside the country. Not true. What about

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

Exams

DIY store.

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

Sistine Chapel - Extreme Makeover: 'Blue's good but lets loss all the clouds and the drama.'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

'Just use some extra strength spackle.'

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

"We'll take it from here Gramps." "Yeah, you guys are just so antiquated." "Power 'Tools'"