Dorm Room Renegade Pillows

Fridge Pirate

Hiding the electronics.

A holiday at home

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'

Paint/Paint Remover, Glue/Glue Remover...

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

'Welcome home, Dear. Your dinner is in the popcorn bowl.'

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

Organized chaos.

The Bland Leading the Bland

"Let's change table stakes to vacation days."

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

'The carpet's too thick so I cut a bit off the door.'

'We could either give you a $50,000 home improvement loan, or $2,000 to just blow your house up.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. VI

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

"If it please Your Honor, may I redo the bench?"

"That last customer thinks I should fire you."

'Mr Evans, I think we'd better reconsider our no-smoking policy.'

"There's no way God ever intended man to shove a pillow into a pillowcase!"

Female Dominance.

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

Exams

DIY store.

'I know I promised to love, honour and cherish you but I don't remember saying I'd cook for you.'

"I'm not looking for Mr.Right, Just Mr. Swipe-right!"

Sistine Chapel - Extreme Makeover: 'Blue's good but lets loss all the clouds and the drama.'

'I think it's fair to say we're opposed to tame sex marriage.'

'Just use some extra strength spackle.'

"We'll take it from here Gramps." "Yeah, you guys are just so antiquated." "Power 'Tools'"

Complaints (just kidding).