Doorway Dictator Gifts

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

Emergency exit into Space

These colour charts are ridiculous... coal' black, 'midnight' black, 'licquorice black'.' - 'There's too much choice! All I want is plain old boring bl-' - 'Ooooooh... 'panther' black.' -

'Make me a bunch of appointments that I won't be able to keep.'

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

Oliverachy - Short-lived political system where leaders were chosen by how many olives they could fit in their mouths.

"Not exactly - He believes that the ends justify BEING mean."

Door

"I want a large pepperoni, pronto! And don't be stingy with the cheese. No anchovies! If I find one anchovy, I'll have your head on a pole. . ."

Baroque

"Dear diary: Pillage, conquer, scheme, poison — same old thing. Plus, my new robe makes me look fat!"

Just Married

'Curiosity'

'I'll let you in on a little secret, son: If you're really, REALLY careful, absolute power only corrupts a little bit.'

Janus faced

Snail Peephole

"I want to be feared as a tyrant, loved as a father, and revered as a god, but I also want them to think I'm funny."

A military leader lies dead with a pin in his back

"How long will it take to widen this door?"

"Excellency, your medals are in the soup"

"That is a good thing- I don't have to explain myself either,"

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

"No trainers!"

Kim Jong Il

Man knocked out by doorframe leading into a basketball court.

'Change the channel. It's a boring T.V. reality show about who controls the remote.'

"I'm ready to leave whenever you are."

welcome / Good riddance: "Over here. That's the back door."

I know I've got a key somewhere!!

'. . . Then whatever's the point of it?'

'To his credit, he only oppresses the masses when there's nothing good on TV.'