Doorstep Dodger Pillows

'You should've called first - given me a chance to not be home.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

Road Construction.

"You're closer. You get it."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

'Cheer up, Mr. Laping. It's only until the fishing season is over.'

Why men hate shopping.

'You always have an excuse when it's your turn to buy the drinks.'

'Hello, Madame, we'd like to talk to you about cod...'

'Whew! Looks like the Tuna Surprise isn't much of a hit!'

'His last words were 'Go Dodgers!''

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

"Clear off! Can't you see I'm self-isolating?"

'I thought it was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

Still going in circles. 'Told you so.'

Why men hate to stop and ask for directions.

'That's it now, Mrs. Baines - see you in the New Year!'

"As a kid if you enjoyed knocking on doors and running away, we have the perfect job for you."

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

"Thanks for a nice time. I'd ask you in, but the man of the house will just put you out again for the night."

Man knocked out by doorframe leading into a basketball court.

'Good report Bob but it's not quite there yet.' And neither was Bob.

"An office job would drive me crazy!...sitting at a desk all day!"

"Don't pretend you didn't notice the Anderson's new doorstops, too! They put ours to shame!"

'We just stopped by to say hello.'

'I thought this was your round.' 'It was, but I'm trying to get in touch with my feminine side.'

"Harold, it's another door to door salesman."

Almost, but not quite, welcome.

"Enough about God. Let's talk about something you really know: rejection."

"It's the Neighbourhood Watch... there's a double-glazing salesman approaching..."