Doorway Dodger Pillows

Man knocked out by doorframe leading into a basketball court.

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Emergency exit into Space

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

Open entrance door to find exit door directly behind it.

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

Door

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

Serious Crime Squad, Light-Hearted Crime Squad, Happy As Larry Crime Squad.

Baroque

'Don't you think you're spoiling him...installling an automatic doggie door?'

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

'Curiosity'

"Are you listening to me?"

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'

Why men hate shopping.

Lucky Break

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

Janus faced

Snail Peephole

'I don't need to go to a gym. One of my classroom management strategies is to circulate frequently around the room. I figure I walk three miles a day.'

"This is my exercise routine, and this is my routine to avoid that exercise routine."

Slimming Club: New Members Entry.

Walk right in. Sit right down.