Direction Dodger Pillows

Still going in circles. 'Told you so.'

Why men hate to stop and ask for directions.

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

How lazy people decide what to eat

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"Make up your mind - will you or won't you?"

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"I'm the designated driver."

Procrastinator's Leap.

Road Construction.

"Sorry, I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now."

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

I love this age: Old enough to know better, young enough to get away with it. Ketchup.

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

Bring your dog to work day - let someone else make the big decisions.

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Maybe we need to re-visit our 'business casual' policy."

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

Lucky Break