Direction Dodger Pillows

Still going in circles. 'Told you so.'

Why men hate to stop and ask for directions.

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Darren had lost his edge as a 'yes' man...

How lazy people decide what to eat

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

Minefield! Thank you for treading carefully.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

"Do I get to lawyer up before I see the Principal?"

"I'm the designated driver."

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

"Not sure what to watch? Go to menu/settings/power/off/pick up a book."

"Make up your mind - will you or won't you?"

Procrastinator's Leap.

Road Construction.

"Sorry, I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now."

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

'No slapping, Wilson! We don't start full-contact drills until tomorrow!'

Bring your dog to work day - let someone else make the big decisions.

"Maybe we need to re-visit our 'business casual' policy."

'Sorry, I can't talk now, Mr. Harris, I'm texting right now! I'll take whatever punishment you want to give me.'

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"Are you listening to me?"

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"Up to now, I feel my childhood experience has been a very positive one! Why spoil it with some silly rules?"

Lucky Break

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

"Yeah, almost didn't make it out of that one."

"Heads we go with the analytics. Tails we don't."