Doorbell Dodgers Pillows

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Snooze buttons for cat owners

Waking Up With Rooster.

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"10,000 steps...just answering doorbells."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

'Roy! Over here! This line is way shorter.'

"Sorry, I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

"If it's the ice princess, I'm not here."

"I'm meeting with Thor for drinks. He doesn't zoom.

"If that's for me, tell them I'm in a meeting."

"I can't wait that long."

"Yes, you've caught me at a bad time!!"

Ring. If that me calling, I'm obviously not here.

Other Walks of Shame

"So I take it you won't be going to the staff Christmas party!"

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

"Hey, can I call you back in about a nap and a half?"

"Tell me about online banking again. I'm not good at technology, but it's got to be less stressful than this."

"Hi, this is RFK Jr." "Who?" "I'm just calling to remind you I'm still running for president." "Oh. Ok, now you have a good time." "I'm also calling to remind you I'm available for speaking engagements at your large rally, small rally, bar mitzvah, or assorted car wash openings." "Would you like me to speak at your function?" "Oh no, that's all right. Don't worry about it."

Man knocked out by doorframe leading into a basketball court.

"It's those bloody Jehovah's Witness kids again! Knocking and not running away!"

Sorry out of numbers.

Early snooze buttons.

Arm Clocks for Dog Lovers

'Speaking!'

"You rang. . . ?"

'You should've called first - given me a chance to not be home.'