Phone Dodgers Pillows

Other Walks of Shame

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

Fear of news.

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

Jenkins won't be here today. He just called in healthy.

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

'I gained about two hours a day. I gave up the New York Times.'

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"Sorry, I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now."

Bureaucracy (Murphy's law)

"You should have been here at eight!"

"If it's the ice princess, I'm not here."

'No need to put my details in darlin'... You're the girl for me!'

'I'm sorry, he's in a meeting. would you like his voice mail?'

"If you don't want to know the result of the united game then look away now"

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

'Ms Ferguson, weasel me out of the 315 meeting.'

Personnel. The gap in my resume is when I got turned out on my back for six months.

"Myra's our creative director. She fabricates emergency situations for me when client meetings go on too long."