Phone Call Dodger Pillows

'Put me down as one of the cranky 20%.'

"If it's the ice princess, I'm not here."

"I think I'll pass - I'm having a really bad-nose day."

"Claire sweetie, it's Sue. So sorry we keep missing each other! I'm just responding to your last voice mail... Call me back."

"For the last time - do not call me when I'm pretending to work."

"Hi, this is RFK Jr." "Who?" "I'm just calling to remind you I'm still running for president." "Oh. Ok, now you have a good time." "I'm also calling to remind you I'm available for speaking engagements at your large rally, small rally, bar mitzvah, or assorted car wash openings." "Would you like me to speak at your function?" "Oh no, that's all right. Don't worry about it."

"Hey, can I call you back in about a nap and a half?"

'I'm eating right now. Can you call me back when I'm not eating?'

'The person you called may be toying with the olive in her cocktail, please try again later.'

"Bloody telemarketers! Always when you're just sitting down for dinner."

"It's bound to be for you."

"The time I save not answering junk calls I waste deleting them."

"Sorry, I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now."

"It's been moved that we adjourn for an afternoon nap. Is there a second?"

"Bill's a little upset. The boss just chewed him out."

"Summarise all that's been said. I wasn't listening."

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

"Hope you weren't planning on leaving early."

Fear of news.

A breakthrough in the morning meeting

Snooze buttons for cat owners

"We missed the meeting, but there might be a couple of the little muffins left."

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

"When you hear me begin talking about our lousy sales figures, you guys create a distraction."

"Any yet he's always on my case."

'I won't be taking any more calls today. I threw my phone out the window.'

'Do you get the feeling that, in educational workshops, there are way too many buzzwords thrown around?'

"Knowing two languages is sure handy when telemarketers call."

Gentlemen, I'm off to join the circus

'No thanks. I never sign a sales deal at the door.'

"Son, I’d say the ACL tear is the least of your problems."

"If only you could do this in real life..."

"Can you send me a text so I can use it as a ruse to get out of this conversation?"

"I've had custom reading glasses made that blot out the words 'brexit' and 'royal.'"

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'