Doorstep Debater Pillows

'How To Say No To Sales People'.

"Harold, it's another door to door salesman."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

We Tenatively Oppose War on Strictly Procedural Grounds

'His best qualities are circumventing questions and evading answers.'

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

Oligarchy

Annual run-off at the mouth.

Dialogue

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"That's the last time I'm going to allow politics to be discussed in the office."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

Ahem. I'm eating. Not now, please. Just one tiny question. Believers I American exceptionalism have always said we're the paragon of democracy. So I'm just wondering … How come one party is passing unnecessary laws that'll keep millions of us from voting? They're robbing us of our voice! Could've surprised me.

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

"That's five votes for In The Midst of Winter....three votes for The Hollow Ground....and, again, one vote for Moby-Dick."

I'm not making enough money to like you.

"Now that's a win."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Denmark scrapped anti-blasphemy law!

"Strawman argument terrorises conversation... News at eleven."

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

Liberal Vote-Shaming Explained

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Please enjoy this culturally, ethnically, religiously and politically correct cartoon responsibly.

"As I see it, 'Crazy politics' - like not voting on a supreme court nominee - is better than a complete government shutdown."

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"