Doorstep Dialogues Gifts

'We just stopped by to say hello.'

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Dialogue

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Meet the Enemy

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Correct Comics *Drawn By A Vegetarian On Acid-Free Recycled Paper In A Drug-Free Environment

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

"How about a hand."

'You've got the wrong idiot, number.'

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

Dialogue

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

"Of course, that's just my opinion. If you want my professional opinion it will cost you."

'Who's a pretty boy! Is that all you've got to say?'

"I've learned to give up when I hear Brooklyn in your voice."

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'The trouble with Nigel is that he's so changeable. One minute I love him and the next minute I loathe him.'

"Most men lead lives of quiet desperation. Frankly, it beats Pandora."

Can you mumble, mumble mumble? You're mumbling. What are you saying? I'm asking for your mumble, mumble. You're asking for my help? I can't get the word out. Can I get a little mumble? Mumble.

'You know me, I'm a problem solver. I listen. I flirt with understanding. I move on.'

Young girl asks young boy what time he wakes in the morning

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

A lesson in wit