Doormat Collector Gifts

Please wipe your belly.

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Women's Bonnets Block the Audience View

An Unexpected Guest.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Beanirrito"

Scarf puts hat back on.

I love the Shard

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

'Three kids, full-time job, night classes and coaches a girls basketball team. She's stretched a little thin.'

'I think there's been some mistake...'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"I know your mother."

'I've had that sign on the desk for 30 years, waiting for the bucks to roll in, but I'm as broke as ever.'

Utility Chic.

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

'Apart from the pain I can't get my hat off.'

"And that's me as a shepherdess!"

'Anyone else would be satisfied with one coat, but not you!'

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

"Which free tote goes best?"

Make it look like an accident.

'So you could say 'I'm wearing two hats'.'

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

Mostly Identified Flying Objects

Drinking Hats

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

"Perhaps this one, sir."

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"I'm having my annual reunion with Polartec, Thinsulate, fleece, and my oldest friend, wool."

"I think it's your cap, Slim. The cows don't see you as an authority figure."

Young man, I think you are wearing my hat!

Tom Bowler