Door Installer Gifts

Your friend, Ernie, is an impressive, multi-talented guy! He's been a actor in the theater, in archeologist, and now he's a diplomat! He hasn't been any of those things. He used to install doors. Oh, he told me he was "applauded for his entrances." And he was an inspector, book for expired yogurt, at the dairy warehouse. He said he "searcher for ancient cultures." Now he sells mattresses. You think he's a diplomat? Yeah, he told me he's "devoted to eliminating unrest in the world"

Emergency exit into Space

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

Macho man body building club.

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

Hee hee hee, watch this - I just shuffled my feet on the carpet.

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

"You rang?"

Sale: All Doors Massively Reduced!

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

That adds life! Before we installed the carpet, I looked down and saw nothing except a blank stair!

The Great Out-doors

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'

Visiting the Opera

At death's door

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

Evolving Door.

'Morning, ma'am. I'm here to install your security system.'

'No, the screen needs to be a little bit to the left...no, right...'

X-Ray toilets.

'Poor Oog -- he invented the door, and locked himself out of his cave.'

It's my latest work, I only vomited it this morning.

Bob's Apartment

'Here, if you don't do windows, you're through!'

Flower Shop. Sale. Careful, he's putting down some new tiles. A florist and a floorist!

Man sweeps through newly painted 'entrance' door, knocking over sign painter on the other side.

"I'll put the bill in the post then."

The best way to teach the cat how to read?

Aspirin company - Door pushes in and turns.