Door Installer Gifts

Emergency exit into Space

'Ever thought of having the place re-carpeted?'

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

Macho man body building club.

"Wall to wall carpet. Shouldn't that be wall to wall to wall to wall carpet?"

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

"On second thought, could you take it out and just teach him how to use the door knob?"

"Then I'll huff and I'll puff..."

"You rang?"

'Today's lesson - how to slam a door.'

The Great Out-doors

"Well sure, as art it sucks, but that's a lot of bricks to move."

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'

Visiting the Opera

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

At death's door

'Morning, ma'am. I'm here to install your security system.'

Evolving Door.

'Poor Oog -- he invented the door, and locked himself out of his cave.'

X-Ray toilets.

It's my latest work, I only vomited it this morning.

'No, the screen needs to be a little bit to the left...no, right...'

Bob's Apartment

'Here, if you don't do windows, you're through!'

Man sweeps through newly painted 'entrance' door, knocking over sign painter on the other side.

Low budget Christo copycats.

"I'll put the bill in the post then."

The best way to teach the cat how to read?

Aspirin company - Door pushes in and turns.