Donation Dodger Pillows

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'I hope I run out of money before I flunk out.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

I'm writing the Great American novel, one bill at a time.

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

Hear me, Graduates!

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'So, who's first?'

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

Kicking The Habit

It's an I-O-Ewe.

'It will take all my nine lives to pay off my student loans.'

'Nobody's leaving till I get the offering plate back!'

"Whoops! There go those darned interest rates again!"

'Financial suicide hotline. How may I help you?'

'Hello, Ma'am. I'm a college graduate selling vacuum cleaners door to door to help pay for the fortune I borrowed to take a course that had nothing to do with selling vacuums... and how are you doing?'

'We had a white Christmas but we'll be in the red until April.'

"So I figure, as long as I stay a student then I can't repay my student loans."

And your repayment period starts...Now!

'Money doesn't have wings, feet or wings. My dad says that nevertheless, it disappears with the speed of light.'

Election Cancelling Headphones

Don't laugh, my house is paid for.

"Truth, whole truth, nothing but the truth? I'm not ready for that much of a commitment."

FIRST NATIONAL BANK OF, 'It's official, sir - EVERYBODY'S overdrawn!'