Domesticity Fans Pillows

'HEYYY! That's new CARPET,you JERK!!' - Life in the fast lane.

Cat and mouse

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

Complementary Beverages

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

"The blow drier is broken."

Baby on Board

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

"Yeah, and the new job lets me work from home."

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

Levitation Man Avoids Angry Husband.

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

'He also wants to be domesticated.'

"Please don't go!"

'Safe!'

'Oh, well done dear. I'll just go and clear a space in the freezer for it.'

"I admire your devotion to duty."

"No no, you haven't inadvertently crossed into Canada, it's me who's on vacation in the USA..."

Did you remember the mousse?

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

A baby biting a boys wristwatch

Dachshund Yoga

'Your wife came by and left a message'

Reptilian trauma.

"I admire your dogged determination."

"I only make that muck for you, I've ordered myself a pizza."

'You're lucky. My wife won't let me have a man cave.'

"Just spring cleaning."