Domestic Sociologist Pillows

Pavlov's Wife

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

Hungry child

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Man's best friends."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

Always Compatible

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Think about the honey."

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done