Domestic Scientist Pillows

"I've noticed you've taken to wearing a lab coat lately. May I ask the reason why?"

"As a child, Timothy would often test his mother’s patience."

'All right, I'm done thawing out the freeze, now what was it you couldn't wait to tell me about finally finding two snowflakes that are exactly alike?'

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

'Hon, I'm home!'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'Let's see what else will explode in the microwave!'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

Sunny with a chance of Helium

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

'How are you doing on your side?'

Search for Missing Socks

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

Pollsters

Man ironing out a line graph.

"Norman's building a small Hadron Collider."

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"OK, honey, if I make this one, we blow off Delia's recital."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.