Domestic Planner Pillows

"You're wrong Ted, this is absolutely the right time to organize three decades of photos."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

'I always cry at weddings!'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'He does.'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"...until death do you a favor."

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"Were we expecting a baby?"