Domestic Planner Pillows

"You're wrong Ted, this is absolutely the right time to organize three decades of photos."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

Lesbian civil partnership.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

Man dreams of romance whilst a woman dreams of romance and babies.

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"No, the cordless embryo isn't available."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Boat wedding.

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

'I always cry at weddings!'

'He does.'

"Will you listen to the same three anecdotes until one of you dies?"

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"He thought he'd stand out more in a body suit."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"...until death do you a favor."

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

"Excuse me, but for some reason you have us traveling with our kids."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"I'm getting so old I don't remember where I buried my bone..."

'Why can't he just say 'I do'?'