Domestic Engineers Gifts

'Until you remember where you put the ladder, be quiet!'

'It'll take a few days for the dryer parts to come in. In the meantime, you might want to set some lint traps in your basement.

Kitchen Appliances Fed Up With The Baby.

'Peel! Your room is a tip!' - 'Okay, I'll tidy it up!' - 'Mum! Finished!' - 'Ahem.' - 'What?'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

'She'll never look for me here.'

Ironing day.

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

'Hon, I'm home!'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

'How are you doing on your side?'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

Search for Missing Socks

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

Pollsters

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

'I can use surgery to restore your sex drive. Do you want the £3000 operation or the £4000 one?' - 'I'd rather have a new kitchen.'

"OK, honey, if I make this one, we blow off Delia's recital."

"Is this the first time you've put wallpaper up?"

Husband washes the dishes

"This house is so noisy, I invested in a bigger speaker."

'You were right, Dad. It started to bounce on the third or fourth step.'

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

"Synchronized sitting"