Domestic Dispute Analyst T-Shirts

'I'll tell you what mister - I'll lose ten pounds and stop nagging, the same day you act your age, cleanup after yourself, cook your own food and get a brain in that fat head.'

"So, I said, 'I'm thinking I'm tired of you asking me what I'm thinking' and heeeere we are."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

The Hockey World

Always Compatible

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

Calling the IDF

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

Ebola Virus

The Boomerang Sanctions

Count Putin

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

Tension in middle east

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

"Did you say something? I thought I heard a sound bite."

"Is there anything else I can do wrong for you?"

'Shame on you! Stop torturing the poor Palestinians, you nazi-like, baby killing war monger!'

"Unconfirmed reports suggest that there may have been a breakdown in communication."

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

'Shall I fry it or flush it?'

G7

Going Shopping Together.

Bloody Little Hitler

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

Hollow Victory.

Olive Branches and Soldiers

'You're in my light!'

Improvised Economic Device

"My wife's a magician . . . she can turn anything into an argument."

"Addiction to fossil fuels is mutually assured destruction."

Welcome to Mesopotamia: Birthplace of Civilization. Population (unable to read rest of sign as it's been blown off.)